Madelyn - 8 months

Madelyn is eight months old! For some reason, this new number feels so much bigger than all the other numbers she's been. This one feels so much closer to a year than five months or six months or seven. 

Maddie continues to be a mostly happy baby. She's easy going and loves to smile and laugh. She knows what she wants and puts up a fuss if she doesn't get it but overall, she's not too hard to keep happy. 

Maddie is still most comfortable with family, and perhaps more so now than even a month ago. She has been having a lot more separation anxiety and often cries if she is held by someone else, is left alone in a room with someone else, or even if new people walk into our house. She calms down very quickly in my arms and will just stare down the new people/person, watching them to become familiar with them...and probably to make sure they don't make any moves to get too friendly with her!

Maddie got her first two teeth this month! Her first one poked through on Kayden's birthday, February 4 and the next one followed just three days later. I'm not sure if the next two are on their way or not. Some days her cheeks are red and her gums seem swollen but other days I don't see anything at all. She's a pretty good teether so I have nothing to complain about. She has just come through her first big cold though, and that has not been as easy. One night at my parents' place, she woke at 10:15pm and was awake and crying until 1:45am. That was a tough night. 

Madelyn weighs about 16 lbs (complete guess!) and is wearing mostly 9-12 month clothes. She loves solid foods. I had been giving her a night snack of baby oatmeal mixed with a fruit purée (hoping to get longer sleeps) but that just plugged her up so now I'm skipping the oatmeal and just giving her fruit at night and whatever I'm eating during the day. So far it seems to be going better -though she did seem to love the oatmeal!

I made the mistake of taking pictures at nap time today. I just wanted to get them out of the way in the morning before she went to bed but that produced more tears than there would have been otherwise. Speaking of naps, Madelyn usually takes two naps that are 60-90 minutes each. Her first nap is usually around 10am and the next is around 2:30pm. She goes down for the night around 8pm and wakes for the day at around 8am. No, she is not sleeping straight through the night yet. She gave me a total of three sleep-throughs (sleep til 6:30-7, nurse, then finish the night...I'll count it as sleeping through!) this month. I have no idea what was different those nights. They give me hope that perhaps one day soon we will be sleeping through on a regular basis! She usually wakes twice in a night to eat and goes right back down. Swaddling is still a sleep cue for her but she usually comes unswaddled in the night and sleeps fine without her arms confined. She just seems to need that tight wrap to fall asleep initially. I've been trying to gently wean her from the swaddle but I don't see it as an issue so I'm not pushing it. Whatever works. 

Madelyn has become a much better traveller. She used to cry long and hard in the van while driving and now she will ride happily for hours, as long as she isn't hungry or tired. This month we went to Hudson Bay to visit my parents for a few days. She was happy the whole way there and most of the way home. So.nice.

Maddie has started saying a few words this month! I'm happy to report that her first word was "ma/mum/mama!" Yay! She also says "uh-oh," which seems to be her favourite today. She has also started with a "ta/da" sound so I'm sure "dada" is right around the corner! This is such a fun stage! 

Madelyn has learned the fun of games this month. Peek-a-boo or "Where's Maddie/Madelyn??" is a favourite. She will cover her face with a blanket (or just life something above her head) and I'll say, "Where's Madelyn??" and she will bring her arms down and grin while I say "There she is!" She will also bang something on the floor, I'll say "bang!" and she will grin and do it again. And again. And again. She's obviously starting to learn some cause and effect. Again I say, what a GREAT age! 

Maddie is starting to look like she wants to crawl. She will raise herself to hands and knees sometimes or tip from sitting to hands and bun/knees. She also likes pulling herself up while hanging onto my hands for help. When I put my hands out to help her, she gets so excited that she can't even grab them right away! Her little arms just flap so hard that she has to calm down a little bit before she can actually reach for my hands and pull herself up. When she's excited, she will flap her arms, make squealing noises (inhale squeal) or growl. I don't remember either of the other two kids growling, or at least not as much as Maddie does! That's just her noise. She does it when she's happy, she does it when she's frustrated. It's so cute! 

Happy 8 months, Madelyn Amia! We love you so much!

More potty talk...

It has been quite a year. I started potty training Kayden a year ago. A whole year. And...wow. There have been MANY loads of laundry and many moments of frustration. She seemed to catch on really quickly but soon regressed with renos then a new baby throwing our routine out the window. And she never seemed to recover. By November we were well into a new routine but things just weren't getting better in terms of accidents. And I knew she was smart enough/old enough to catch on...something just didn't seem right. So I started looking into medical reasons for why potty training would be a struggle and wouldn't you know, constipation was the culprit! She's been plugged pretty much since starting solid foods and we noticed that when she was especially plugged, she had trouble holding her pee. But it never crossed my mind that constipation could be the reason she didn't feel her pee coming ALL the time! Ugh! I felt so bad. Here we had been trying to train her for almost a year and she was obviously trying but simply couldn't feel the urge to go! So we continued training but with extra motivation to solve her constipation issues as quickly as possible. Diet changes didn't seem to help much so I took her to the doctor in December. He suggested "Lax-a-Day." We tried it and it did help but when we stopped for a few days over Christmas, so did her pooping. I didn't feel good about a laxative being a permanent solution so I started looking at other things we could try. Two weeks ago we cut out dairy (switched to almond milk instead) and, without going into detail, I'll just say that it was a very good two weeks! Best two weeks she's had since she was exclusively breastfed! But almost none of that "good two weeks" made it into the potty, unfortunately, because for the first time that she could remember, she didn't have to sit and strain for half an hour to get it out...it just came! And took her by surprise...and didn't give her time to get to the potty. But talk about encouraging! Kayden, on the other hand, has seemed pretty discouraged with the whole potty training thing lately. And who could blame her? It's been a year of more accidents than successes. She recently just stopped telling us when she had accidents, wearing her wet pants until we noticed, and that's not cool. So yesterday I suggested that we take a break, go back to diapers, and when she turns 3 (10 days), she will be a big girl and can go back to panties and we'll try again with the whole staying dry thing. She seemed very grateful for the break. (She often tells me "I'm just having a break, Mama.") I'm a little nervous that she will lose what little bit she was trained...but I've also spent most of the past year feeling like success is "just around the corner" and it never was. So at this point I'm willing to take a small step back in hopes of a renewed girl when we start training again. It's been a long road. It's about as different from Levi's training as it could be (he was trained at 21 months within a few days, nights too by 22 months). This experience hasn't made me doubt that early potty training is wrong. I will still try to potty train Maddie before or around her second birthday. But I will make sure that there are no medical issues standing in her way of success. I kinda feel like I've failed Kayden. How could I have missed that for so long? I just hope that, once we have this constipation thing under control, potty training will be fast and easy and that it will build her confidence right back up again!

Madelyn - 7 months

Oh seven months. Seven beautiful months with this smiley girl. Where do I start? Maddie is such a joy in our lives. She absolutely lights up whenever she sees any of us (mama, daddy, Levi or Kayden). She laughs and smiles and shrieks with joy. She also growls, which I'm pretty sure actually started last month and not this month, but I think it's the cutest thing. She will growl when she's upset (think frustrated growl) and also when she's happy (think "I just told a lame joke and I know it" growl). It's not happening as much lately but it had been a regular noise from her for a couple months. She's also babbling a bit but nothing sounding like words yet. Mostly "oooh's" and "urrr's" and "aaah's". That sort of thing. She does this noise on the inhale when she's really happy. This girl really is happy a lot. She wakes up happy, she is awake happy and she (almost) goes to sleep happy. Almost. She puts herself to sleep but there is usually at least a little protest. Usually inder 2 minutes though.

Speaking of sleep, Maddie is a decent sleeper for her age. No, she's no sleeping through the night. She will surprise me every couple months but usually she is up for a feed twice a night. She is still swaddled. I tried to ditch the swaddle this month but it resulted in more night wakings and half hour naps so I brought it back and the first night swaddled again was one where she slept through. So...I'm thinking she just wasn't ready. Or I wasn't. She naps twice a day, at around 10 and 2:30 and sleeps for 90 minutes each time. She has started resting her head on my shoulder as I pat her back before putting her in her crib. I'm not sure if she knows it, but this little thing sure earns her a few extra minutes of snuggles before bed every time! It is so sweet! She still nurses every two hours during the day, unless she naps long. I've added a solid food night snack in the evening which she usually gobbles up pretty well. She also loves to eat any food that we're eating so I'll often give her little bites off my plate. She has a cheerio snack at the table with us while we eat supper. She's become quite good at getting the Cheerios into her mouth this month!

Madelyn's favourite things (the things that make her jump and grin and shriek) are mommy, daddy, Levi, Kayden, and MIRRORS! She used to just look into mirrors and watch herself or others but now she will almost jump out of my arms when I hold her in front of the mirror (or even just walk by one...it surprises me because I don't even realize that there's a mirror and suddenly she's jumping in my arms and so excited! She also really enjoys her exersaucer, dogs, cats, the Tylenol bottle with the squishy rubber top, anything with tags, and anything she can get into her mouth.
 

Object permanence seems to have kicked in big time this month. She notices when I leave the room or take away a toy. And then there are tears. She is definitely a mama's girl. Kayden and Levi still love to go in and "help" her when she wakes from a nap. "Help" consists of running into her room and talking to her through the rails of her crib until I get there. It's super cute and she doesn't usually seem to mind. She loves her big brother and sister! And I never get tired of seeing that sibling connection grow and deepen. It's my prayer that they will enjoy each other's company forever. 

Maddie has been sitting for a while but this month she learned that she can pivot and scoot a bit. She has started catching herself with one arm when she starts falling so I've found her leaning on one hand and whining to be rescued a couple times! She's also learned that if she grabs onto something that slides on the floor, she can push it away from herself and then pull herself to it and move along the floor like that. It's fun to watch! She sometimes seems like she's trying to pull herself up but isn't there yet. She is grabby, grabby, grabby and her grip is strong! If she gets a handful of skin or even just a little skin between her fingers, yeow! It actually really hurts! I've considered swaddling her while I nurse because she pinches any skin she can touch, grabs my hair (the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck are her favourite) and tries to rip off my nose. Ouch. 

Maddie was weighed this month when she was in for her 6 month immunizations and was 15lbs 14oz and 25.5". She's small for her age but short and chunky (surprise, surprise!). She's wearing 6-12 month clothes (the other day we happened to see Kayden wearing the same clothes in pictures from last Christmas!). Her eyes are definitely turning brown, though they have a bit of dark grey around the outside most days. Her hair is medium brown and what little bald spot she had is filled in nicely. She doesn't have much hair but when it's freshly washed, it's so nice and soft/fuzzy. There's nothing quite like baby hair :)

In some ways, it feels like not much has changed in the last month but at the same time you can tell that she's growing and changing. The first year of a baby's life is so full of fun stages and I would say we are definitely in a sweet spot right now. She's happy, easily pacified, easily entertained, sleeps pretty well, and doesn't move much. She's so much fun. We love you, Maddie! We're looking forward to the coming month to see how you grow up and learn new things!

And of course, a shot of what happens while I take pictures :)

Madelyn - six months

Happy half-birthday, Maddie! It also happens to be the first day of winter! (Levi has been waiting for the first day of winter almost like it's Christmas - every time we say he needs to wear his jacket because it's winter, he reminds us that actually it's still fall - no longer! Now it's actually winter!!!)

Madelyn is just so adorable. It has been a wonderful six months. They have certainly not been without their trials, but that smile! It just outshines any frustration we've had. Maddie has a beautiful smile and the sunny personality to go with it. She is easy-going and curious and energetic. She loves to experience the things around her...touching, tasting, feeling. But she is also happy to just sit back and watch. She will smile and giggle with our family all the time but is a bit more shy with others. When we are out with others, she likes to look up and check in to be sure she knows who is holding her. She will even do the check-in when I'm holding her in front of the mirror. She sees me in the mirror and then looks up at the real me to be sure that I'm still the one holding her. She sometimes makes strange with other people holding her and other times she's fine.

Madelyn is still small for her age. She hasn't been weighed or measured since November but I'm guessing she's around 15-16 lbs. She is wearing 6-12 or 9 month clothes. I've already put away all of her 6 month clothes. Crazy. It always happens faster than I expect! The little bald spot that she did have is filling in nicely. And her eyes are definitely turning brown! 

Maddie loves to sit and play with toys. She really likes tags and ribbons to suck on and skinny, chewy, rope-like things to chew on (like rubber hoses and such). Oh, and paper...she LOVES to eat paper! It has just enough crinkley noise and gets nice and soggy in her mouth. She gets so mad when we take it away from her! She bounces a lot...if you hold her so she's standing in your lap, she will likely be trying to jump. She likes the exersaucer more than the Jolly Jumper, though. I wonder if it's because she feels like she's more a part of the action in the exersaucer as the Jolly Jumper has to be put in a doorway which is out of the way in our house. Toys that make noises that are too loud aren't her favourite. She does get startled or overwhelmed when things are too loud or sudden. We were at church the other night for the Christmas program and the first time everyone clapped for a performance, Maddie burst into tears! She calms down very easily when she's with me, though, so all I had to do was carry her to the back of the sanctuary and she was fine before I was even out. So I turned around and sat back down! She rarely gets so upset that she doesn't calm down quickly when I hold her. She mostly only cries when she's tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or shy. Or hurt, obviously. But that doesn't EVER happen, what with two older siblings to watch over her and all...

Maddie can sit by herself and has been able to for most of the past month. She knows how to roll over but doesn't do it much anymore, probably because she's too busy sitting up and standing in her exersaucer! She has been eating really well but I haven't been in a hurry to start giving her solid food at regular times each day because once you start, you kinda have to keep going. So instead I've just been giving her pieces of my own food which she loves and does really well with. I believe the term for feeding a child like this is "baby-led weaning," though that process involves absolutely no spoon-feeding or purees and I'm not kissing those goodbye just yet. This is very similar to how Kayden learned to eat and it worked for her so I think I'll just keep going in this direction and see what happens. She loves when we put Cheerios on her tray during supper, though is still mastering the skill of being able to get them into her mouth consistently! She is very grabby and nothing within her reach is safe. So why not offer her bites of this and drinks of that? She gets so excited when she sees something coming in the direction of her mouth. It's so funny to watch!

Maddie has been sleeping really well this month. She is still up an average of twice a night and hasn't slept through the night at all this month. But she goes back down after a feed with no fuss. That's all I ask at this point! Perhaps this month will involve some sleep training, though. I WOULD like to have a full night's sleep again one day soon! She is still swaddled, sleeping on her side. She naps in her crib in her room and nights are still in the playpen in our room. She goes down with minimal fuss for both naps and nights. The odd time that she protests a bedtime longer than a few minutes, it usually just takes me going in, picking her up and patting her back for a minute or two to calm her down and then laying her down in a dry spot in the playpen (drool). She goes to bed around 8pm, wakes between 7-8am and naps around 10 and 2. Unfortunately that means that her afternoon rarely lines up with Kayden's nap and Levi's quiet time but hey, the time is coming! And this is the first month that it hasn't lined up most days so it's not too bad. I get more quality time with each kid this way, even if it does mean no me-time during the day.

Maddie has started being a fussy traveller this month. We have had a couple evening drives where she has cried/screamed the whole way home. I'm hoping this isn't a new thing! Just a phase...please, just a phase... She also met Lennox up close and personal this month. I realized that she hadn't really ever touched him or seen him more than just in passing from her car seat (if that), so one day I let him into the entrance and  they met. She was quiet at first then started squealing and reaching for him and laughing. It was the best! Babies and dogs are great together. :)

Well, that's Madelyn at six months! We love her to bits. Happy six months, my girl!

This is what happens when I say that I'm going to take pictures of Maddie. Notice the little hand under Kayden's armpit? Yup, that's Madelyn's! Kayden was right on top of her :D Maddie didn't mind, of course. 

Madelyn - five months

Maddie is such a happy girl! She's always taking in the world around her. And she's always full of smiles and laughs! And her smiles are full body smiles! Her whole face lights up and her little arms and legs just start kicking and flailing. She even wakes up with smiles! Maddie loves to watch what's happening around her, in particular what her brother and sister are up to! I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she's right in on the action herself!

Maddie's sleep has greatly improved yet again this month. Or maybe it got worse at the beginning of the month so that by now it's feeling better again, even if it isn't at the point it was last month. This month she has started waking more often at night, up to three times. And that's not a bad number but it sure feels different than 1-2 wakings! When she does wake, though, she eats for 5 minutes and is back in bed until the next waking. I'm currently trying to do away with night feeds altogether. Since she used to do fewer, I know she can handle it! She goes to bed awake for naps and at bedtime and puts herself to sleep, usually with minimal fussing, within 5 minutes. I feel like this is a HUGE deal because not so long ago I was fighting her for hours to get her asleep! Yay, Maddie! She wakes for the day happy between 7-8am and goes to bed around 8pm. She has 2-3 naps during the day. She sleeps nights in the  playpen in our room and naps in her crib in her bedroom. And she's still swaddled. I love the swaddle!

Maddie has tried a couple "samples" of solid food this month. A fingertip of yogurt (yum!), a crumb of bread (yum!), sucking on some roast beef (double yum!). She has also had a bit of water out of a sippy cup and a regular glass. She has started reaching for our food and drinks so I figure, why not? When she does get a taste, she gets excited and reaches for more! I think this girl is going to enjoy the day she can start finger foods!

Maddie has been loving the exersaucer this month! She loves to be upright and while last month the toys were just decorations that she paid no attention to, now she gets excited when we put her in there and she starts reaching for toys right away! She reaches for any toys we hold out to her and grabs and pulls the little birdie toy that we have on her car seat. She's getting really good at holding onto toys and getting them to her mouth. Everything that touches her hand is grabbed and goes to her mouth. Poor Kayden has had her hair and glasses grabbed numerous times! Maddie doesn't spend much time in the jolly jumper, mostly because we don't have a great place to hang it. Bathroom doorway, anyone? Not the most ideal spot. If she bounced like a maniac while she was in it, I would probably make more of an effort to put it up more often but she seems to enjoy the exersaucer more and that is much easier to move around the house! She loves baths. I've started putting her in the big bathtub this month, both alone and with Levi and Kayden, because she splashes so much and covers the bathroom with water. She can definitely hold her own in the big tub. Big grin and tons of kicking the entire time! She's is also just starting to enjoy being thrown in the air. (Not that we've been doing this for a while with her not liking it...she's just finally old enough and loves the thrill! She lets go of whatever she's holding onto, pulls her knees up to her tummy and has the hugest smile/giggles. So much fun!

Maddie is getting pretty close to sitting unassisted. She can sit for a while without tipping. But then she turns her head to look at something an tips over. Or she gets excited and kicks her legs and falls back. But she's getting it! And now that she knows the joys of sitting, she doesn't like to be laid down as much. She will pull her head and legs up in a little crunch with just her diaper touching the floor and hold herself there until she can't possibly hold herself any longer. Then she will relax and happily play on her back because even second best is nothing to complain about for Maddie :) Madelyn has rolled over this month, though she doesn't do it as often as she did earlier in her 5th month. She can also turn circles on the floor by kicking her feet and shifting her body. I always put her on something soft on the floor and I often find her with her head on the hard floor a few minutes later. Whatever floats your boat, Miss Maddie!

Maddie has had a cold this month and hates having her nose wiped, though she tolerates it much better now than she did at first. She has no teeth yet and doesn't seem to be teething. She has experienced her first snow this month, though being bundled in a car seat is hardly "experiencing" it! (That's how I'd like to experience snow every winter if I have to at all!)

At her last immunization, which was about a week after 4 months, she was 14lbs 1oz and 24" tall so my guess is that's she's maybe close to 15lbs by now? It's hard to say and I haven't done the unofficial bathroom scale weigh with her. She is wearing 6 month sleepers, 6 or 6-12 month tops and 3-6, 6, or 6-12 month bottoms. Her eyes are quite dark but not a true brown yet. They still have a little grey in the so we will see how they end up! I think Levi's were quite brown by this age already and Kayden's were lighter.

Madelyn is quite an easy-going baby, though she does still pick her moments to make strange or become overwhelmed when there is too much strange activity. Then we have tears. But mostly she is quiet and observing. If she is with you and all is quiet or she's alone, she will make such happy noises - shrieks and coos - and "talk" to us. Baby noises are some of the best noises ever.   She loves singing. When I start to sing to her, her whole face lights up! I love it! 

Well, that's a glimpse of our Madelyn at 5 months. As I type this, she's sleeping in my arms because she decided to be awake right at 7am this morning and had two long naps so her schedule is thrown right off. Church mixed in also didn't help. So now we're sneaking in a third nap just after 5pm (hence the rocking) to tide her over til bedtime. She's such a lovely, warm bundle. 

Maddie, we love you. We're so glad God chose you to be part of our family! Happy 5 months, my girl. I look forward to your personality coming out even more over the coming month!

A peek into my mind as a stay at home mom...

I wrote this last night but figured I would wait until the light of day to see if I still have the guts to share it. Everyone wants to feel like they're good at what they do, and moms are no exception. But when there's no job description or even much time for stepping back for some perspective, it can be tough.

"I always forget just how out-of-it I feel at various points in the first year after having a baby. I go through depression, exhaustion, guilt, lack of motivation, discouragement - and of course love and joy that burst through my chest, and moments of peace too. But those negative ones always take me by surprise and make me feel like I've always been like this and like I always will be. It's hard. Those hormones get to my mind every time. I wish they wouldnt. It's so hard to be a good mom when you don't always feel like you have a clear mind. I feel overwhelmed by stuff and I know that it really shouldn't be getting to me like that. Or the kids will ask to do a simple activity like paint and it'll feel like they've asked me to climb a mountain. Why is it so hard? I don't feel like I'm that tired or draggy. I always pictured myself as the mom who drew no limits when it came to kids and crafts/activities and their creativity. And yet, they're at the stage right now where they need so much help and don't have long attention spans so I barely have time to get them set up and it's time to start cleaning up already because they're done. I also feel like I'm constantly being pulled in at least 2-3 different directions at once. It's not unusual to have supper going on the stove, Maddie crying in her crib because she doesn't want to nap, Kayden at my feet saying "I want you to HOLD me!" and then Levi asking me to watch something or read something or just poking Kayden to get her to scream. In those moments I just feel like it's too much. If I go to Maddie, supper will either burn or be pushed later. If I let her cry, her nap will be even later and it will be harder to get her to sleep because she will be that much more tired. If I let supper go later, I've got two other grumpy kids and chances are, Nathan has a meeting to get to so supper needs to happen at a certain time. I can't very easily hold Kayden while I'm cooking but that's most often when she asks to be held and I don't want her to feel like I always say "not now." Levi is the least of my worries but he's insistent so finally I snap at him then feel bad because all he wanted is a bit of attention. I love the chaos and it also feels like too much sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. How can you love something that makes you so crazy? I don't know.

"Today my one goal was to clean Levi's room. If I'd used quiet time for it, it probably could have taken half an hour. But instead I chose to use quiet time to do some computer stuff which is harder to do while kids are awake. And Levi's room ended up taking all day. Between a couple loads of laundry, getting meals and snacks, reading stories, taking potty, nursing Maddie, putting kids down for naps, feeding animals, burning garbage, dressing kids, changing diapers, doing Kayden's hair...there were only snippets of time here and there to do it. And when the kids are around where I'm working...well, I hold Maddie because she's fussy but then only have one hand to clean. I sort things into piles but the kids always find interesting things in the piles and then they aren't piles anymore. I need to move something across the room and there are little bodies in the way. I also hoped to clean the disaster that is the basement (has been for a month or so) but that didn't get touched. *sigh*

"It's hard to know if you're doing a good job as a mother. Your kid has trouble in school and you wonder if it's your fault. Your daughter is sad and wants to go to bed without lunch - is she just tired or is she sad because you don't spend enough time with her? I try to take time to be attentive to the kids, to read them stories and to listen to them but there's a lot of work to do in running a house too. Some things just need to get done. I try to involve them where I can - baking, cleaning...but they don't always want to do what needs to be done and I sometimes just want to get something done without "help." I wish the lack of accomplishments in a day and the number of piles of clutter were an indication of the time I've poured into my children instead. And while I know that's exactly what the piles and unfinished projects are, I always fear that the kids still feel like I'm too busy. Where's the balance? My work and my life are one and the same. There is no "40 hours a week" when it comes to raising children and making a home. No job description to tell you how you're doing, to measure yourself against. I hope that our children will look back on happy childhoods. I hope that they will be well-adjusted adults. I hope that they will know how much I love them. I hope that they will feel like I always had time for them. The most I can do is try my best every day and hope that I'm not making any huge mistakes. Oh that my children would be able to say:

"We always knew she loved us.
"She always had time to listen.
"We each knew we were her favourite."

I didn't write this for sympathy or in hopes that anything will change. I just know that I often feel alone in this chaos but know that there must be other moms out there who feel the same way. Be encouraged, other moms. Nobody has their life all perfectly together. And if they do, they have children who sleep like angels or they only have one child (because we all know that fewer children automatically means easier - NOT) or they just simply poop unicorns. I'm pretty sure anyone who is a mom feels like their life is running a bit amuck. And I just want all those moms who are falling apart to know that it's ok. And you're not alone.

Madelyn - four months

Maddie is four whole months old today! Yay, Maddie! It has been a wonderful (and so so tough!) 4 months with her.

Maddie is growing so much! She is about 14.5lbs already (the unofficial home-scale weigh-in a few days ago). She is wearing 6 month sleepers and mostly 3-6 month or 6 month clothes. She is a little doll. We just love her to bits!

Madelyn loves to be where the action is! She always wants to see what's going on and loves it when she gets in on the family fun. Too much action, though, and this little girl tends to get overwhelmed and let us know about it! Though this month has had fewer overwhelmed cries from her. Fewer cries in general, I'd say! She has possibly turned into our smiliest, happiest baby yet!

It's not hard to get a smile from this one. She will give smiles especially easily to me, Nathan, Levi, and Kayden. But on Sunday, we were at a potluck and she was apparently smiling at the grandmas who took turns holding her while I ate. For a little one who seems to play shy sometimes, she sure doesn't play shy at all at other times! I have yet to figure this one out! She also loves to giggle! Tickling and sudden funny noises seem to be the things to get her going right now. If the sudden noise is too loud though, she will look for reassurance. If she can get some eye contact with someone she trusts and we smile and reassure her, she will break out a big grin, even though she was unsure just a moment before. It's pretty amazing to see.

Maddie has learned to roll from back to front this month, just in the past few days actually. I will be cooking in the kitchen and hear her grunting and then turn and look and she's either on her stomach or halfway there, working with all her might to flip herself over. I'm convinced she does it so she can see more than just the boring old ceiling. The other day I heard Levi talking to her, saying, "You really like our ceiling, don't you?" When I asked him why he thought she liked it, he said that she spends a lot of time looking at it! I think it will soon be a lot less time as she starts to do more than just lay there on her back!

Madelyn is learning to sit right now! She loves to be on her bum and able to see even more of the things going on around her. I anticipate she might be sitting on her own within the next month or so. She still has to work on her little ab muscles a bit, and balance of course, but it's coming! And once she can sit, I don't think we will be able to lay her down ever again...

Madelyn has been introduced to the exersaucer and the jolly jumper this month. She doesn't really know what to do with either of them yet but it seems like she likes to be able to be upright and look around more. (Are you sensing a theme?!) She gets help jumping whenever she's in the Jolly Jumper from Kayden, who is quite sure that she'd rather bounce a little than spin in slow circles. It's not unusual for one of the kids to beg me to put up the Jolly Jumper so their sister can go in it. Kayden also had a turn in it this month and boy, did she remember what it was for!

Madelyn is starting to grab toys when we hold them out to her and, of course, they all go straight into her mouth. She doesn't seem to be drooling quite as much lately, but a bib is never a bad idea to keep the shirt from being soggy. She will suck on anything and everything. Toys, bibs, exersaucer seat, our hands, blankets...yup. It all goes into her mouth. She is still working on holding onto toys and manoeuvring them exactly where she wants them (unless it's her mouth), but we've noticed a big difference in how she grabs toys from last month to now.

Maddie's sleep is much improved since last month. YAY!! It's not perfect and just when I seem to think that we're doing well, she will resist sleep for a couple hours before bed again. BUT, it's not every night anymore which is making me feel so much more patient and human! Maddie now naps in her crib in her own bedroom which is much less stressful for me since you can hear almost nothing in there from the rest of the house. With all the bedrooms right off the kitchen, and our master bedroom with doors to both the main bathroom and the kitchen, I spent the first 3-3.5 months of Maddie's life shh-ing the older two and trying to get them not to even breathe next to our bedroom while Maddie was sleeping. I was walking on eggshells ALL the time because you can hear everything from our bedroom and how to you keep a 2 and 4 year old quiet all day long?! So I came up with the brilliant idea of napping her in her own room, since I'm not with her while she naps anyway, while keeping her in our room for nights. It is working quite well. We've also got a nursing-->diaper & pj's-->swaddle-->song-->bed routine going which relaxes her enough for her to put herself to sleep most nights! She is up usually 1-2 times a night to eat and goes right back to sleep. She naps 2-3 times a day and is awake for 1.5-2 hours between naps and 3-4 hours before bed. I feel like we're finally at a good place with sleep. Such a relief!

Madelyn is such a joy to have around. She lights up every time she sees us (even right after waking up!) and gets so excited about interacting with us. She is such a happy baby these days, only crying for food (if I don't respond to her complaints soon enough) or because she's tired or shy. But you know what? Even if she was still fussy and didn't go to sleep that well, we would still just love her to pieces because she's Maddie! Happy four months, little girl. We're so glad you're part of our family!

And because I have two other adorable kids who wanted their pictures taken today...

Levi being a goof...and a pesky fly beside him. 

Beautiful Kayden.