Madelyn - 11 months

 Madelyn is 11 months old! Happy almost birthday, dear girl! She has come so much closer to being a toddler rather than a baby this month. She still looks fairly "baby" since she doesn't have much hair yet, is still small for her age and doesn't walk yet. But you can just tell that she's maturing and growing up (way too quickly)!

When I thought about taking pictures this month, I wasn't sure how I was going to get her to stay in one spot long enough to take pictures. This girl would rather move and touch and get to whatever it is that catches her eye. She bum-scoots pretty much anywhere she wants to go, the exception being Kayden's bedroom carpet, where she flops to her hands and knees and crawls. It's a thick, shaggy carpet so it's no surprise she has adjusted her way of moving on there. The crawling is new this month. She still prefers to scoot but at least she knows how to crawl now! She rolls easily both ways and can sit up from laying down (also new this month I think?). She also climbs us and makes her way into our laps when we're sitting on the floor. She can pull herself up and is doing that more every day. One day this month, I was washing Kayden's hair in the tub and my elbow bumped something and I looked and Maddie was standing at the tub beside me! I hadn't even noticed her there! She doesn't walk along walls yet but can stand for quite a while once she's up. She's not very confident getting back down but can flop to her bum if she must (ie: if she is left alone and forgotten somewhere for too long).

Maddie continues to be our shyest baby yet. She can hardly stand new people looking at her and talking to her. She usually rests her head on my shoulder when people talk to her and if they come too close, she will hide her face in my chest. Melts this mama's heart! It seems to be hardest on her when people come to our house. If she is not being held by me when new people arrive, she will usually burst into tears within minutes of their arrival. If she's with me, she's fine, but if she's just on the floor or in her high chair, it's tears every time. She seems to be a little less shy when we're away from home, but still very clingy. She knows the four of us in her family and is comfortable with any of us but pretty much anyone else is still suspect and receives a good dose of hesitation from our Madelyn.

We've discovered this month that Maddie is a jealous baby. One day recently I was holding Levi in my arms on the kitchen floor while the rest of the family was sitting on the floor around us. He'd gotten hurt so I was being a mama and making it better. As soon as Maddie noticed that someone else was in my arms, she was crying and trying to climb in between! Levi was fine by then so I sent him to Nathan and once Maddie was calmed down (which was quick once Levi was away from me), I set her back on the floor and she went back to playing happily. I quietly motioned for Levi to come back to me and I held him again. It didn't take long before she was trying to push him out of my arms again, crying! Levi went back and forth between me and Nathan a few times, and each time he came to me she had the same reaction! It happened again in church yesterday, which I just find hilarious! Silly girl. Surely she's seen me holding her siblings before now!

Maddie is really starting to make certain connections now. She tries to put the cap back on a glass bottle that we have in the cupboard. She finds socks and puts them on top of her feet. Today she dumped my bucket of clothespins so I started putting them back in. She noticed what I was doing and started helping me put the clothespins back in! It's little things like that that make me realize that my baby is growing up. She often notices what we're doing and will copy. Another time I was holding my hand in the shower door waiting for the water to warm up. I looked down and she was sitting on the floor, holding her hand in the door just like I was! She also spits out whatever is in her mouth when I put my hand under her lips and often reaches out with things in her hand to show me what she has. If I put out my hand, she will put whatever she has into my hand so I can see it, then quickly takes it back! 

 She is also copying us vocally, though this is a slower progression than actions for her. She will say "da! da!" (dance dance) while swaying side to side. She has just started saying "da-daaa"(night niiiight) and laying her head to one side because we play a game with her where we say "night niiiight!" and she lays her head down, usually while she's in her high chair. You can tell that's what she's trying to say, even though it's just the "da" sound because she says it just like we say it to her! I'm sure she's also connecting the "dada" sound to Nathan for Daddy which is always a special step. She also says the "mama" sound, though I'm not sure if it is still in connection to me or if it's just an especially good sound for making bubbles (do it really slowly with a lot of spit in your mouth while blowing out a little and you'll know what I mean).

New things Maddie has done this month...she has played in the dirt in the garden. She has eaten a lot of dirt in the garden. She has gone for more walks in the stroller this month than she has in her entire life so far, I think. She has played on the trampoline and swung in a swing. She loves the swing and started out loving the trampoline too (she would sit and bounce herself as soon as her bum hit the tarp) but she got bounced onto her face by her energetic brother twice in one day and now she is not a fan. First wheelbarrow ride (I think). First time at camp.

Madelyn still makes the kissy face/noise whenever she sees animals (and when she sees Nathan...maybe she associates it with calling animals AND kissing daddy?). She gets so excited whenever she sees animals but so many months of watching them through the deck door may mean that it'll take some adjustment for her to actually enjoy touching them. She was safe through the glass but isn't quite so sure about these animals crawling into her lap and licking her arms and legs. That is still a bit much for her. I do hope that she will grow to love animals the way her brother and sister do though. How can you live in the country and not at least love kittens and puppies?!

Maddie loves dolls and stuffies. Whenever she finds something soft, she will hold it up to her right cheek, lean her head into it, and pat it. Cutest.thing.ever. She loves to explore and carry things around the house, dropping them in random places. It means I always have the most strange and random things in the most strange and random places, but it's a fun reminder that I have little people living here with me who are learning and growing. What a privilege! Of course, it doesn't always feel like a privilege when I'm constantly stepping on things and cleaning up after them. BUT...it's all about constantly refocusing and seeing the light, right?

 Maddie eats almost everything we eat. We just plunk whatever we're eating on her tray during mealtimes and she eats it. So she eats each meal with us plus I try to give her a morning and afternoon snack of solids. She is also still nursing about four times a day and once or twice at night. She can easily go three hours between daytime feeds, sometimes even four hours. But when it's time to eat, this girl gets cranky! It's pretty much the only time she gets really fussy. She can be tired and still be pretty happy but if she wants to eat and isn't being served, get ready for some crank.

 I mentioned that Maddie still eats once or twice at night. It's usually twice a night, once around 1am and then again between 4-6. She goes to bed around 8pm, wakes for the day around 8am, and naps during the day. She has pretty much phased out her morning nap already. I am not sad to see it go. It's so much easier to do things now that it's nice outside if she doesn't have to be home and in bed for an hour and a half every morning. Church is also a lot easier now that the morning nap is gone! She goes down for her nap between 12-1 and sleeps anywhere from 1.5-3 hours. She slept through her 1am feed three times this month - all in the past week or two - so I was hopeful that maybe she would start sleeping through the night soon but the last couple nights have seen two night feeds again so I guess not. One day...

Maddie is about 19 lbs and is wearing mostly 12-18 month clothes still. I've considered just mixing the girls' clothes for summer because Kayden can still fit into some of Maddie's clothes and Maddie can wear some of Kayden's (which are 24m-3t). I get so confused when I'm folding laundry because many of Maddie's summer clothes, Kayden was still wearing last summer! Maddie's eyes are definitely brown, though some days it looks like there's still some grey/green around the edges. She seems to tan well, no burning...such a relief to have three kids who tan instead of burn! Her hair is staying dark so far and is slowing starting to get a bit longer, mostly at the back. I haven't had to trim it yet! She has four teeth: two top front, two bottom front.

We are having so much fun watching you grow, learning who you are, and just spending our days with you, Madelyn! You are a very special girl and we love every day that we have with you. You are so joyful and curious. So funny and so beautiful. We love you!

Madelyn - 10 months

Maddie is 10 months. By now she is called "Maddie" far more often than "Madelyn." Though when people ask what her name is, I always still say Madelyn :) The kids have been going through a phase of calling her "Madster" which I don't love. It's cute because it's them (and Nathan) and because I know/hope it won't last forever! Maddie has changed so much this month. I know change is always happening but I feel like she has made some leaps this month in particular! 

Maddie rolls easily now whenever she is in a position she doesn't want to be in. It made taking pictures a lot more difficult this month! She is bum-scooting all over the house with ease. She's pretty fast! She loves to make her way into the kids' rooms whenever she sees that the doors are open. There is a lot of Lego in Levi's room so we try to be good about leaving the door closed but sometimes it's just too easy to forget! She is also starting to pull herself up. I put her in a cardboard box the other night as I was putting the older kids to bed and the next thing I knew she was standing in the box! I sat her down and she did it right away again! So we lowered her crib mattress first thing the next day. And of course she hasn't pulled herself up since. But she is getting close and I'm happy to know that I won't get that dreaded surprise of walking into her room and seeing her standing in her crib, leaning over the rail by her waist! She has also started climbing into our laps when we are sitting on the floor and hugging our legs when she wants to be picked up. So sweet!

Maddie has been imitating actions even more this month. I was holding Maddie while Levi was explaining something the other day. He was swinging his arms to explain to me and once he was done, Maddie started swinging her arms the same way. She also raises her arms above her head when she sees us doing it. 

We have also noticed Maddie imitating sounds and words! She says "dis" when she is given something she finds interesting. She says "da" or "das" when she hears music. This is accompanied by rocking side to side, her "dancing." When we dance with her then stop, she kicks her legs (knees up to chest then kicked back out) so much to get us to dance with her again. She also does that when she's excited, usually when she sees someone in our family or the animals. We can also hear her little "ahhh..." Coming from her car seat as we drive down washboard roads. It's a beautiful sound, a baby's voice! 

Speaking of animals, Maddie loves to sit at the deck door and watch the cats. She likes to watch Lennox too but is a bit afraid of him up close, though I think she is getting used to him now that we are outside more. Whenever we ask Maddie, "where are the kitties?" she looks toward the deck door and sucks on her lips to make the kitty calling sound. It's really cute! I sometimes ask her where the kitties are just to get her to do it. She's pretty good at it! 

Maddie has finally stretched out her feeds longer than every two hours. Until this month, I couldn't leave her for longer than that because she would need to nurse again. Suddenly this month she seemed to be ok to go a little longer so I started leaving her until she fussed for a feed and she can go 3-4 hours! Last month she would still start fussing at the 2 hour mark. She is eating a lot more solids now. She eats every meal with us in her high chair. We just give her what we're eating and she does great with it. I've started giving her yogurt for night snack every night and she is doing really well with it. One kid can't have yogurt because her body can't digest it properly and the other kid it really helps. Bizarre! She loves to drink water out of a sippy cup or straw...she can do both easily by now. She picked them up with no help from us. I guess that's a third child thing!

When Maddie started spacing out her feeds, I was hopeful that she would start waking less at night. No such luck. She is still waking twice a night to eat. She usually goes right back to sleep after a feed but a couple times lately she has just cried for 1.5-2 hours during the night. I'm getting to the point where it would be really really nice to sleep through the night again but I guess it's not to be just yet. Perhaps I'll muster all my strength and try night weaning this month. I anticipate tears and less sleep through that process because that just seems to be how Maddie rolls so we'll see. Maybe I'll just see if I can wait it out and she will start sleeping on her own. Maddie naps once or twice a day. Her 1.5 hour morning and afternoon naps seem to be a thing of the past. These days she sometimes takes two naps but they are rarely both a good length of she does. But this does mean that she can skip her morning nap fairly easily and usually make up for it with a good afternoon nap. She goes to bed around 8pm and is up around 7:30-8:30am. 

Maddie has four teeth, two top front and two bottom front. She weighs about 18lbs and is approx 25-26" tall. She is wearing 12m or 12-18m clothes. It was strange getting out the 12-18 month clothes because these are the clothes that I just took out of Kayden's closet last spring! Whenever I'm folding laundry, I have to think twice about whose room the clothes are going to! 

Maddie is such a joy. She is usually happy, though has been fighting a cold and perhaps getting some teeth lately so has been a bit fussier. She's a girl who knows what she wants and we hear about it when she isn't happy about something. But overall she is pretty laid back. She laughs easily and smiles all the time. She loves to play with her brother and sister. She has started noticing pictures of them around the house and gets so excited whenever she looks at them! She is an excellent traveller most of the time. She will still sometimes cry in the van, but not nearly as often as she used to. She has picked up a squinty eyed smile this month. She squishes up her face and grins with her four teeth showing. It gets me every time. She also went through a phase of clucking her tongue, but that seems to be replaced by the lip sucking kitty noise at the moment. This girl is curious and loves to explore the house now that nothing is too far for her to access. She is pretty good about boundaries, thankfully. She has only gotten into my plants a few times and has yet to tumble down the stairs into the entrance,despite sitting right on the edge all the time. 

Happy 10 months, Maddie! We love you so much and look forward to seeing what you learn and experience in the coming month! 

Madelyn - 9 months

 
Nine months in, nine months out. This always seems like a significant age for some reason. I'm not sure why. I guess it's hard to believe she grew in me for as long as we've now known her face to face. As long as the nine months of pregnancy can be, I'd say these nine months are longer. So much has changed! She is growing and developing and changing and learning so much!

Maddie is usually a happy girl. She does like to let us know when she's not happy though. If I leave the room or don't feed her quite soon enough, we will definitely hear about it! But she remains easy to console...by mama. She's definitely a mama's girl. She doesn't always like it when other people hold her though it seems like she may be getting a bit more relaxed about that? I'm not sure. Not too many other people hold her so we don't have much chance to test it. If I'm in sight, I'm the only one she wants. It makes me feel special, of course, but it can also get tiring when I just need to get something done or to take Levi or Kayden to the bathroom during church. Please just let me leave you with someone for 5 minutes! 

Maddie has started bum scootching in the last couple weeks. Nothing is safe anymore. She has helped herself to plant leaves and yesterday I found her with a mouthful of dirt from one of my plants. Yum. My favourite is when she spots something of Levi's or Kayden's (usually their snack). Her eyes lock on it and she starts moving her little booty across the floor to get it, never once looking away from her prize. She is a girl on a mission. She isn't scared of stairs so we are training ourselves to always close the door at the top of the basement stairs. I have found her at the top of the entrance stairs twice now, just ready to go over head first. But it's wide enough that a regular gate won't fit so I guess she will just have to learn to respect the stairs the hard way. Luckily there are only two steps :)

Maddie is wearing mostly 12 month size clothes. She is about 18 lbs. Her hair is getting a bit thicker and longer, though it's definitely not close to haircut stage yet! She has three teeth, one of those is new this month. And her eyes are very dark but not completely brown. They almost have some green or grey in them. Beautiful is what I would call them! 

Madelyn is eating fairly well, though is starting to get a bit pickier. She used to gobble down her evening oatmeal and these days she barely takes a dozen bites - and the bites I do get into her are snuck in while she's busy playing with everything else. She eats most of the food we eat, or parts of each of our meals at least. For example, if we are having farmer sausage with rice and veggies, she will have some rice and veggies. I'm not doing many purees at all. So maybe that's why she's less interested in oatmeal...she would rather be feeding herself finger food! She does like the squishy pouches of purees fruit though. Of course. Even the older kids like those! She still nurses about every two hours during the day, sometimes stretching it out to 3-4 hours but not consistently, and twice at night.

Maddie had her first stay in a hotel this month. I wasn't sure what to expect having all three kids in one room but it went really well! She also had her first and second swims in a pool. She isn't a fan of the cold water and keeps a death grip on me the entire time. But once we go into the hot tub, she loosens right up and starts splashing and having fun. She also loves her baths, still, and almost jumps out of my arms when we walk into the bathroom while the tub is filling. 

Maddie's sleep has not been its best this month. She went through a week or two when she refused her morning nap completely and was having short afternoon naps. Thankfully that passed. She got sick and I think that helped :) She's also added a 10:30-11pm waking to her 2:30am and 6:30am wakings. Not cool. I try not to feed her at that first waking but then it sometimes turns what could be a short waking into a 2 hour cry-fest. So I don't know how to encourage her to sleep through til at least 2:30am. So she's up a bit more in the night than I'd like, and sometimes up for a while, but hopefully sleeping through is on the horizon. She blessed me with one sleep-through this month. It.was.glorious.  She is 100% a tummy sleeper. I don't even bother putting her on her side anymore because she often rolled to her back instead and that just kept her awake. If she is restless in the night, she will roll to her back and that wakes her up more so I'd like her to learn to sleep both ways. It seems sleep is an ongoing topic in our house. We've officially ditched the swaddle this month! She is now sleeping well with only her torso wrapped snugly in a blanket. And I'm in no hurry to change that because it actually keeps her warm while she moves around her crib during the night! That said, we might switch it out for a sleep sack in the next few weeks and see how that goes. Anyway, enough about sleep! 

Maddie has become a better traveller, for the most part. She usually doesn't cry while in the van. That said, we took a trip to swift current this month and she cried the whole last hour home. So she likes to keep us guessing. 

Maddie loves to move to music. It is the cutest thing. She hears music and her little body bounces up and down. Picture little sitting up ab crunches. Sit up straight, and slouch, straight, and slouch. She also loves the words "bang" "bonk" and "shake." She always grins when she hears them and has actions for each of them. Speaking of words, some that she's said this month are "da" "ba" "mama" and "uh-oh!" It's the best to hear her start to make words and sounds. She has really started imitating us a lot this month. If she notices me bobbing my head to music, she will often copy. She will copy sounds that she hears. And if we put our arms above our heads, she will do the same. Babies are always learning at this age. It's such a fun age!

We usually call Madelyn "Maddie" but the kids have started calling her "Madster." At first I really hoped it wouldn't stick but hearing them, especially 3 year old Kayden, saying "Hey Madster..." it's pretty adorable. Levi and Kayden like to play a "night night" game with Maddie at mealtimes. They say "night night, Maddie" and she lays her head down on her high chair tray and then they say "wake up!" and she pops her head up with a big smile. They are so so good with her. They often fight over who is going to play with her or talk to her. Sharing her doesn't seem to be an option. Levi has been babysitting her in his room during quiet time which gives me a bit of a break after lunch. He begs to have her so I tell him if he has his Lego all cleaned up, he can have her. Double win for me! Clean room AND babysitting for the low cost of one jelly bean!

Maddie is a joy to parent. She loves her family and loves animals and loves music. She is cuddly and funny and adorable. Happy 9 months, Maddie! We love you!

Self-care and the Christian

I often remember back to an experience we had in a previous church where Nathan worked. Near the end of our time there, we were given an opportunity to seek healing and receive some intentional pouring into our lives. During this time, Nathan was needing to find other employment for a period of time. Part of the church's offering to us was the offer of their help to find Nathan a job. We felt this was a generous and caring offer but nothing ever came of it. Nathan did end up finding a job fairly quickly, but with no movement from the church. When we expressed our frustration to someone (outside our church) who we were talking with, his response was "Did Nathan find a job? Then I guess you didn't need their help." That response has always stuck with me. I felt put in my place. But when we offer to help someone, are we only obligated to actually follow through on giving that help if they can't do it themselves? It's one thing if the offer is to help if help is needed but I specifically remember the offer from our church being unconditional. When I offer someone help, I give help whether or not they can manage on their own. Help is given for love's sake, not necessarily out of necessity.

I have recently started thinking about how this applies to our relationship with God. God offers to help us. So how much should we rely on that help? Should we ask for His help in everything, regardless of whether we can do it on our own? Or should we try to make it on our own and only ask for the offered help if we find we can't manage? Should I be taking steps to greater personal health (healthy routine, stillness, self-care) before crying out to God? How self-reliant should I be? How dependent should I be?

(a few hours later)
I've been thinking lately about how I, as a pastor's wife, can make the most of the sabbatical time that is coming later this year. It would seem a shame for Nathan to be refreshed spiritually/physically/emotionally and not be able to be refreshed as a couple/family at the same time. So, to look for ideas of how to join in the sabbatical, I googled "sabbatical for pastor's wife." I came across a blog post titled "The Introverted Pastor's Wife." It wasn't about sabbatical, but it was a good read. In her post, the author talks about how she has learned how to care for herself and find balance in the "pastor's wife" role. Once I was done reading, I kept scrolling through the comments section. After a few positive comments, there were a few that weren't so supportive. One commenter in particular seemed to be quite against the post. She called the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" merely popular psychology and something to be avoided entirely. She said that God created us to have the sole identity of "children of God" and anything else should not define us (we shouldn't identify as either intro/extroverted because God didn't make us like that). She said that if we are looking to anything but Jesus for rest (time alone or with people should not be sought out specifically as a source of rest), that it is sinful and we need to repent. She basically seemed to have the mindset that we need to give of ourselves for Jesus with no concern for our personal well-being (because Jesus is all we need and provides for all our needs). And while I agree in part, I couldn't help but be reminded of what I had just written here a couple hours earlier!

So where on earth does that leave things?? Should I not pursue anything that is life-giving? Does my being refreshed in stillness/alone-ness mean nothing? Should I say yes to every opportunity with no thought to my sanity? Does God not create different people with different personalities and passions for a reason? And didn't Jesus himself withdraw to spend time with the Father without anyone else present?

Lord, what do You expect of me? What standard do You hold me to? Do You have different expectations in different cultures (this commenter and the women she was representing are from the UK)?

Is it wrong of me to say no to some ministry opportunities and choose to be involved in the ones that I feel like I can pour myself into wholeheartedly or the ones that I feel God nudging me into, perhaps despite my comfort zone? Is it missing the goal to try to feel refreshed spiritually instead of "dying to self" every day? What is dying to self? Does it mean feeling worn down and tired and continuing to push because God will provide what you need/be your rest? Or does it mean that we leave behind our earthly desires and take up God's desires for the world as our own? I think, perhaps, it's the latter...

So that brings us back around to self-care. Is self-care wrong? Is self-care just us not trusting in God-care? How much should we be relying on God for help and how much should we take responsibility for our well-being? Can you rely on God fully while still practicing self-care?

Please weigh in. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. I'm obviously still working through this myself but would love some other thoughts on it to keep me thinking! What is self-care to you? What does it mean to you to rely on God as your rest/source?

Madelyn - 8 months

Madelyn is eight months old! For some reason, this new number feels so much bigger than all the other numbers she's been. This one feels so much closer to a year than five months or six months or seven. 

Maddie continues to be a mostly happy baby. She's easy going and loves to smile and laugh. She knows what she wants and puts up a fuss if she doesn't get it but overall, she's not too hard to keep happy. 

Maddie is still most comfortable with family, and perhaps more so now than even a month ago. She has been having a lot more separation anxiety and often cries if she is held by someone else, is left alone in a room with someone else, or even if new people walk into our house. She calms down very quickly in my arms and will just stare down the new people/person, watching them to become familiar with them...and probably to make sure they don't make any moves to get too friendly with her!

Maddie got her first two teeth this month! Her first one poked through on Kayden's birthday, February 4 and the next one followed just three days later. I'm not sure if the next two are on their way or not. Some days her cheeks are red and her gums seem swollen but other days I don't see anything at all. She's a pretty good teether so I have nothing to complain about. She has just come through her first big cold though, and that has not been as easy. One night at my parents' place, she woke at 10:15pm and was awake and crying until 1:45am. That was a tough night. 

Madelyn weighs about 16 lbs (complete guess!) and is wearing mostly 9-12 month clothes. She loves solid foods. I had been giving her a night snack of baby oatmeal mixed with a fruit purée (hoping to get longer sleeps) but that just plugged her up so now I'm skipping the oatmeal and just giving her fruit at night and whatever I'm eating during the day. So far it seems to be going better -though she did seem to love the oatmeal!

I made the mistake of taking pictures at nap time today. I just wanted to get them out of the way in the morning before she went to bed but that produced more tears than there would have been otherwise. Speaking of naps, Madelyn usually takes two naps that are 60-90 minutes each. Her first nap is usually around 10am and the next is around 2:30pm. She goes down for the night around 8pm and wakes for the day at around 8am. No, she is not sleeping straight through the night yet. She gave me a total of three sleep-throughs (sleep til 6:30-7, nurse, then finish the night...I'll count it as sleeping through!) this month. I have no idea what was different those nights. They give me hope that perhaps one day soon we will be sleeping through on a regular basis! She usually wakes twice in a night to eat and goes right back down. Swaddling is still a sleep cue for her but she usually comes unswaddled in the night and sleeps fine without her arms confined. She just seems to need that tight wrap to fall asleep initially. I've been trying to gently wean her from the swaddle but I don't see it as an issue so I'm not pushing it. Whatever works. 

Madelyn has become a much better traveller. She used to cry long and hard in the van while driving and now she will ride happily for hours, as long as she isn't hungry or tired. This month we went to Hudson Bay to visit my parents for a few days. She was happy the whole way there and most of the way home. So.nice.

Maddie has started saying a few words this month! I'm happy to report that her first word was "ma/mum/mama!" Yay! She also says "uh-oh," which seems to be her favourite today. She has also started with a "ta/da" sound so I'm sure "dada" is right around the corner! This is such a fun stage! 

Madelyn has learned the fun of games this month. Peek-a-boo or "Where's Maddie/Madelyn??" is a favourite. She will cover her face with a blanket (or just life something above her head) and I'll say, "Where's Madelyn??" and she will bring her arms down and grin while I say "There she is!" She will also bang something on the floor, I'll say "bang!" and she will grin and do it again. And again. And again. She's obviously starting to learn some cause and effect. Again I say, what a GREAT age! 

Maddie is starting to look like she wants to crawl. She will raise herself to hands and knees sometimes or tip from sitting to hands and bun/knees. She also likes pulling herself up while hanging onto my hands for help. When I put my hands out to help her, she gets so excited that she can't even grab them right away! Her little arms just flap so hard that she has to calm down a little bit before she can actually reach for my hands and pull herself up. When she's excited, she will flap her arms, make squealing noises (inhale squeal) or growl. I don't remember either of the other two kids growling, or at least not as much as Maddie does! That's just her noise. She does it when she's happy, she does it when she's frustrated. It's so cute! 

Happy 8 months, Madelyn Amia! We love you so much!

More potty talk...

It has been quite a year. I started potty training Kayden a year ago. A whole year. And...wow. There have been MANY loads of laundry and many moments of frustration. She seemed to catch on really quickly but soon regressed with renos then a new baby throwing our routine out the window. And she never seemed to recover. By November we were well into a new routine but things just weren't getting better in terms of accidents. And I knew she was smart enough/old enough to catch on...something just didn't seem right. So I started looking into medical reasons for why potty training would be a struggle and wouldn't you know, constipation was the culprit! She's been plugged pretty much since starting solid foods and we noticed that when she was especially plugged, she had trouble holding her pee. But it never crossed my mind that constipation could be the reason she didn't feel her pee coming ALL the time! Ugh! I felt so bad. Here we had been trying to train her for almost a year and she was obviously trying but simply couldn't feel the urge to go! So we continued training but with extra motivation to solve her constipation issues as quickly as possible. Diet changes didn't seem to help much so I took her to the doctor in December. He suggested "Lax-a-Day." We tried it and it did help but when we stopped for a few days over Christmas, so did her pooping. I didn't feel good about a laxative being a permanent solution so I started looking at other things we could try. Two weeks ago we cut out dairy (switched to almond milk instead) and, without going into detail, I'll just say that it was a very good two weeks! Best two weeks she's had since she was exclusively breastfed! But almost none of that "good two weeks" made it into the potty, unfortunately, because for the first time that she could remember, she didn't have to sit and strain for half an hour to get it out...it just came! And took her by surprise...and didn't give her time to get to the potty. But talk about encouraging! Kayden, on the other hand, has seemed pretty discouraged with the whole potty training thing lately. And who could blame her? It's been a year of more accidents than successes. She recently just stopped telling us when she had accidents, wearing her wet pants until we noticed, and that's not cool. So yesterday I suggested that we take a break, go back to diapers, and when she turns 3 (10 days), she will be a big girl and can go back to panties and we'll try again with the whole staying dry thing. She seemed very grateful for the break. (She often tells me "I'm just having a break, Mama.") I'm a little nervous that she will lose what little bit she was trained...but I've also spent most of the past year feeling like success is "just around the corner" and it never was. So at this point I'm willing to take a small step back in hopes of a renewed girl when we start training again. It's been a long road. It's about as different from Levi's training as it could be (he was trained at 21 months within a few days, nights too by 22 months). This experience hasn't made me doubt that early potty training is wrong. I will still try to potty train Maddie before or around her second birthday. But I will make sure that there are no medical issues standing in her way of success. I kinda feel like I've failed Kayden. How could I have missed that for so long? I just hope that, once we have this constipation thing under control, potty training will be fast and easy and that it will build her confidence right back up again!

Madelyn - 7 months

Oh seven months. Seven beautiful months with this smiley girl. Where do I start? Maddie is such a joy in our lives. She absolutely lights up whenever she sees any of us (mama, daddy, Levi or Kayden). She laughs and smiles and shrieks with joy. She also growls, which I'm pretty sure actually started last month and not this month, but I think it's the cutest thing. She will growl when she's upset (think frustrated growl) and also when she's happy (think "I just told a lame joke and I know it" growl). It's not happening as much lately but it had been a regular noise from her for a couple months. She's also babbling a bit but nothing sounding like words yet. Mostly "oooh's" and "urrr's" and "aaah's". That sort of thing. She does this noise on the inhale when she's really happy. This girl really is happy a lot. She wakes up happy, she is awake happy and she (almost) goes to sleep happy. Almost. She puts herself to sleep but there is usually at least a little protest. Usually inder 2 minutes though.

Speaking of sleep, Maddie is a decent sleeper for her age. No, she's no sleeping through the night. She will surprise me every couple months but usually she is up for a feed twice a night. She is still swaddled. I tried to ditch the swaddle this month but it resulted in more night wakings and half hour naps so I brought it back and the first night swaddled again was one where she slept through. So...I'm thinking she just wasn't ready. Or I wasn't. She naps twice a day, at around 10 and 2:30 and sleeps for 90 minutes each time. She has started resting her head on my shoulder as I pat her back before putting her in her crib. I'm not sure if she knows it, but this little thing sure earns her a few extra minutes of snuggles before bed every time! It is so sweet! She still nurses every two hours during the day, unless she naps long. I've added a solid food night snack in the evening which she usually gobbles up pretty well. She also loves to eat any food that we're eating so I'll often give her little bites off my plate. She has a cheerio snack at the table with us while we eat supper. She's become quite good at getting the Cheerios into her mouth this month!

Madelyn's favourite things (the things that make her jump and grin and shriek) are mommy, daddy, Levi, Kayden, and MIRRORS! She used to just look into mirrors and watch herself or others but now she will almost jump out of my arms when I hold her in front of the mirror (or even just walk by one...it surprises me because I don't even realize that there's a mirror and suddenly she's jumping in my arms and so excited! She also really enjoys her exersaucer, dogs, cats, the Tylenol bottle with the squishy rubber top, anything with tags, and anything she can get into her mouth.
 

Object permanence seems to have kicked in big time this month. She notices when I leave the room or take away a toy. And then there are tears. She is definitely a mama's girl. Kayden and Levi still love to go in and "help" her when she wakes from a nap. "Help" consists of running into her room and talking to her through the rails of her crib until I get there. It's super cute and she doesn't usually seem to mind. She loves her big brother and sister! And I never get tired of seeing that sibling connection grow and deepen. It's my prayer that they will enjoy each other's company forever. 

Maddie has been sitting for a while but this month she learned that she can pivot and scoot a bit. She has started catching herself with one arm when she starts falling so I've found her leaning on one hand and whining to be rescued a couple times! She's also learned that if she grabs onto something that slides on the floor, she can push it away from herself and then pull herself to it and move along the floor like that. It's fun to watch! She sometimes seems like she's trying to pull herself up but isn't there yet. She is grabby, grabby, grabby and her grip is strong! If she gets a handful of skin or even just a little skin between her fingers, yeow! It actually really hurts! I've considered swaddling her while I nurse because she pinches any skin she can touch, grabs my hair (the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck are her favourite) and tries to rip off my nose. Ouch. 

Maddie was weighed this month when she was in for her 6 month immunizations and was 15lbs 14oz and 25.5". She's small for her age but short and chunky (surprise, surprise!). She's wearing 6-12 month clothes (the other day we happened to see Kayden wearing the same clothes in pictures from last Christmas!). Her eyes are definitely turning brown, though they have a bit of dark grey around the outside most days. Her hair is medium brown and what little bald spot she had is filled in nicely. She doesn't have much hair but when it's freshly washed, it's so nice and soft/fuzzy. There's nothing quite like baby hair :)

In some ways, it feels like not much has changed in the last month but at the same time you can tell that she's growing and changing. The first year of a baby's life is so full of fun stages and I would say we are definitely in a sweet spot right now. She's happy, easily pacified, easily entertained, sleeps pretty well, and doesn't move much. She's so much fun. We love you, Maddie! We're looking forward to the coming month to see how you grow up and learn new things!

And of course, a shot of what happens while I take pictures :)