Ahead or behind??

As you all know, I've got two kids now. I have had for 18 months already. There's something very different about parenting child #2 than child #1. I don't mean to parent differently...I just do! It's the nature of having two children of different ages to take care of instead of just one!

I get the babycenter emails every week, the ones that tell you where your child might be at developmentally at each stage in the game. With Levi, I kept thinking, "oh! He's only supposed to be doing that now?? He's been doing that for weeks already!" And now with Kayden, I find that I'm always thinking that's she's just not there yet. (That's assuming I open up the emails every week...who has the time!) 

There are two very good reasons for this (probably more!). One: she's her own person and does things at her own pace. I'm ok with that. That's great and I'm not concerned. Two: I'm less inclined to be thinking ahead with number #2. With Levi, I was always looking at the toys and games and puzzles that he had yet to grow into and was constantly wondering if he was old enough to play with them yet. I had lots of time and he was the only one to focus on so naturally he was trying new things as soon as possible. Now with Kayden I find that I am more preoccupied and suddenly realize (usually after the fact) that she would love a toy that I'd put away once Levi was done with it. So I pull it out and sure enough, she's ready for whatever it may be!  

I feel a little guilty that Kayden isn't getting as much 1 on 1 attention as Levi got, or being quite as stretched developmentally, but I keep telling myself that it's not necessarily a bad thing! She isn't being neglected, she doesn't receive any less love or care or attention. It's just in a different form than what Levi got at this age. And it's all good. 

So what if she doesn't play with puzzles until she's 19 months and Levi was putting together 20-piece-ers by the time he was walking?? (Ok, that may be an exaggeration) My goal as a mom isn't to get each of my kids to meet milestones at the same time as their siblings, and to always be pushing them to be ahead of the game. My goal is to love them and give them what they need. To give them opportunities to grow and to trust my instincts when they tell me whether or not the kids are ready for something or not. 

Kayden will have a different experience with my parenting than Levi and if there are more kids, they will each have their unique experience. I just have to say, though, I'm understanding why the last child in a family tends to be babied longer than the older kids. It's not necessarily intentional!  It may just be that the parents are so busy that they don't realize what's happening! So if my last baby is still sleeping in a crib when I take him to kindergarten, or using diapers in grade 5...just let it be. Eventually I'll clue in and realize that my baby has grown up. :)