Ok guys, I need your thoughts. Obviously, Nathan and I have been thinking about names for our new little one. We've got some good options left over from our last two naming games but of course we're scouting new options too!
So here's a question that always comes up when people are discussing baby naming and I'm wondering what you think. When it comes to names, when is it OK to use the name of an extended family member and when should you leave the name alone and not see it as an option? What constitutes a name as being "off bounds"?
Parents' names?
Grandparents' names?
Siblings' names?
Siblings' middle names?
Aunts'/uncles' names?
Cousins' names?
Cousins' spouses names?
Cousins' kids names?
So much of this is personal preference...everyone feels differently about this and it also depends on your relationship with each of these people. But I'm curious to hear your opinions! Please share your thoughts! When is it OK to use an extended family name and when is it better to find something new and original?
For me, I think we set the limits too tight for ourselves. I know there are a gazillion names, but there are only so many that work for you and your family. Plus what if you've always loved the name?
ReplyDeleteI always felt that if it was a name from the other generations (ours, or parents, or grandparents) that's totally fair game. I had a harder time when it was of the same generation like my cousins kids. But even though I had a harder time, I still felt it was ok for us because we seldom see my cousins.
But... I have two first cousins on the same side named Nathan. Both family's loved it, so they both used it. And honestly, it's not a big issue, even when we're all together. (although that being said, I wouldn't use one of my brothers children's names, those names have a strong identity to me already)
That brings me to the point of looking at it from the other side. What if your _____ (sibling, cousin, etc) used your child's name?
And lastly, I think it's worth looking at how popular is the name? If it's something like Liam or Emma, the number 1 names, you're not counting on it being original, and frankly in the top because they appeal to so many. (like Carter was always one for us, even though we know numerous ones)
This is going to be part of your child's identity. So if you love it, and it feels right, go for it.
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ReplyDeleteI like Marsha's comment of thinking about how it would feel if someone else used your child's name. I know you don't have exclusive rights to the name, but how distant is distant enough? I would consider how often I see this person and what my relationship is like to this person. I would more seriously consider what my close friends are naming their children, or what names are popping up in my community, and avoid those names if going for something unique. When using names from the parents generation and older, then it seems like an honour thing (you've named them after someone) and I have no problem with that as long as that was your intention. How common the name currently is also opens things up a fair bit.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any problem using a adults name for a new baby. Which means I'm totally OK using siblings, parents, grandparents, aunt's, uncles, etc. I probably wouldn't use a name that one of my cousins have used to name their child. For example, one of my 1st cousins, that lives in Alberta, is married and named one of their little girls "Evelyn". I love that name, and it was high on my list of possibilities. But now? Even though that little girl is in a different province, I personally would feel funny naming my little girl the same thing, when they would only be a few years apart. Plus, it is somewhat unusual these days, so it would stick out even more. So to me, it matters more if they will be growing up in the same generation, rather than how close the relation is. I also likely wouldn't choose a name that had already been 'taken' by one of the kids in our church. That is just the way I feel, though, and it probably isn't a hard and fast rule for me either. Sometimes I feel like by the time we finally have kids, none of my favorite names will be left! And then we'd have to bend our rules, I guess! - Katie
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